“Sustine et Abstine”
Say what? It’s latin. It means bear and forbear. Again, say what? When I say bear and forbear I mean to acknowledge the pain but move forward anyway. I’d like to acknowledge The Obstacle is the Way for these words.
Learn the lesson. There’s a reason behind your pain. Know that your mind must feel the pain to learn, adapt and evolve – just like your body. When I began to approach my pain, shame and shitty emotions the same way I would approach a weak physical body – my evolution finally began.
Nobody is born with an iron backbone, we have to forge it in the fires of pain. No more running, no more distracting yourself. No more drinking or fucking it away. No more fantasies of happiness finding you one day. It’s time to get to work.
- Accept the Hurt – You’re not feeling well. Maybe you are in anguish or despair. Perhaps isolation and loneliness is killing you. Like me so many years maybe you think of yourself and think, “I’m just a piece of shit and I hate every part of myself. I’m tired of feeling this way.”I understand. But once again, I’ll say it 1,000 times more – your pain is happening for you, not to you. Pain, anguish, despair – are here to teach your mind, body and spirit. This is supposed to be happening. Your mind does not hurt or despair for its own amusement. There is a lesson to learn, an opportunity to seize. If you heal properly, you’ll grow stronger. It’s nature. Your body and mind adapt to survive. You have to stop getting in the way of this process.Will you accept the pain and struggle as the opportunity it is? I posted a cool tweet the other day, here it is:
Focus on managing pain and handling obstacles. You’ll be able to offer strength, support and light to a suffering world.
— Paul Graves (@paulegraves) August 26, 2016
As you continue in your journey you’ll get stronger. Someday you’ll be a badass motherfucker. Pain, obstacles, challenges – you’ll eat them for breakfast. Our world, full of pain and suffering, needs strong grounded people more than ever. We need your help. The greatest gift you can give the world is to become the best version of yourself possible. The return on investment is infinite. You have no idea how many people you could touch nor what you’re capable of.
By becoming stronger, you’ll be helping me too. So please go for it. Don’t wait another day. And rest assured, it’s not a struggle everyday for the rest of your life. This is what stops so many alcoholics and drug addicts from finally healing – at first they dread a life of painful effort everyday. One day at a time, forever? This shitty duty seems unbearable. What they can’t see is that the struggle ends. The pain ends once you see the truth. Your mind and body will evolve and adapt.
Why do I keep saying mind and body? Aren’t we talking about emotions here, Pablo?
That Pesky Mind-Body Connection Again
I talk about the mind-body connection often. It’s one of the crucial elements in discovering your transformation. It will allow you to stay the course, and provide needed refuge when shit hits fan. Because it will. There is another latin line I love to repeat – mens sana in corpore sano. Sound mind in a strong body.
We must craft our spiritual strength through physical exercise, and our physical hardiness through mental practice. Genius. This isn’t me, this is Roman wisdom! Back then, times were simple. People were simple. Take this advice as a gift, please – it is one of my grounding beliefs. Live it, through and through. Build your body, strengthen your mind. Do both at once, and you’ll be unstoppable.
Time to Go FortH
I believe in you. Let’s move forward together. We feel the pain but we put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Eventually the pain numbs and we’ll have been laughing and joking for 20 minutes. It’ll happen.
One day you’ll see pain as just another cloud in the blue sky of your mind. A blue sky with many clouds – joy, love, anger, maybe a little anxiety. Let me know if you have questions.
The Obstacle is the Way